Presenter you must be...

I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonder. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little

- Billy Connolly

It’s now less than three weeks out and I am starting to feel a bit less apprehensive.  After long periods of silence words of encouragement and anticipation are starting to come from collaborators and friends from across the world.  i guess nothing renews interest as much as an approaching deadline. Or maybe they just wanted to be really sure that we were coming before taking the trouble.  I would probably have done the same.

As it is now there are confirmed programmes in Penang, Chiangmai , Yunnan, Chengdu and Almaty.  Once in Europe there will also be presentations in Utrecht, Copenhagen and of course Stockholm.  So eight stops in about 90 odd days, with a wide range of assignments –ranging  from a  pink Harley parade through Georgetown, to a full cancer programme in Kazakhstan with the rest of the NUH breast team flown up for a two day programme.  As far as I can tell no repeats – all have asked for unique presentations.  They range from surgical techniques, tumour board discussions or some anthropological angle of why Asians are different than westerners when it comes to cancer behavior.  This bit of the trip really does not sound much like a holiday.  I think that aside from a few clinic duties left the rest of the time will be spent either in front of a computer with a lot of reading, or next to a stripped down bike.

The other main concern now is how to be an adequate mechanic.  I think as far as riding skills are concerned we are going to have to go with what we are.  So with most of the clinics closed over the last two weeks I will be spending my time with Ah Chye from 72 Desker Road mechanics.  On Saturday we learned to change engine oil and oil filter, take the tank off and clean the air filter, bleed the clutch and brake hydraulics, change spark plugs, replace and adjust the drive chain.  

bleeding clutch hydraulics

On Tuesday we will learn to fix the gear shifter and brake pedal, and tear up some tyres to see how to mend them.    On the whole it has been an interesting time.  Whether operations on people or bikes use the same part of the brain I’m not too sure about, but I have noticed a lot of similar skill sets – dexterity and feel, planning ahead, keeping the place uncluttered.  It’s nice that bikes don’t generally bleed through.  A standout distinction between the two is that while operating on people one cannot help but be impressed with how we are all “fearfully and wonderfully made”, whereas even on the relatively well thought through Suzuki I do wonder WHAT the engineers said to the designers to put the front spark plug smack behind the radiator jacket.  And HOW anyone could put an unprotected radiator THERE without a grille, which I will now sort out how to make from scratch. Essentially the impression is that the radiator is a bit of an afterthought.

I may have mentioned before how we have a video crew that we are not too certain about. There are supposed to be two pre ride events for filming but right now nothing seems too certain.  The part that I am least comfortable with is that mike and I may be called upon to carry the travelog like some kind of professional presenter.  This fills me with some trepidation and should be an assurance of failure to make any worthwhile documentary. The last professional film producer that we wanted to get involved in our little project -  he has a Peabody and should know what he’s talking about – took one look at us and said that we have the perfect appearance for radio.  He promptly lifted the phone and started to get hold of Ian Wright or the charming Asha Gill.  He was keen to come, she curiously said that she would be busy with her first child.  Curious because at that time we were two years before our leaving date.  I like to think she was just being nice. 

            In any case I needed some encouragement and education so I started out asking friends who are “in the business”, meaning media and stage people.  Like the previously mentioned collaborators, silence.  The only reply is from a certain Lim Yu Beng, an old schoolmate of mine, who said that I had the advantage over any presenter because this is my dream trip, my vision.  I hope he’s right.  A word with another friend Soo Hwang tells me that I need to find out what kind of presenter personality I have. She breaks it down into three kinds:

David Attenborough.  As reliable and trustworthy as Dad.  Incredibly fascinated and equally fascinating, peerless video footage. Knack of making the remarkable commonplace, and vice versa.  Slightly breathless more recently, and noticeably more melancholy.  Easy manner to imitate, but just don’t, he’s too revered.

Michael Palin.  Obviously clueless, but loves the chance encounter.  Naturally approachable, extremely wide comfort zone, will eat and drink practically anything.  Has a very nice manner, and works really well with silence.  I think some of the best work I’ve seen him do is when he’s not doing anything.  Just standing there, looking on, allowing us to share his experience vicariously.

Michael Parkinson.  Extremely well informed, he listens in a way that tells you he’s listening to what you’re not saying.  He’s not thinking of the next question, or what he wants to get you to say, he’s just listening and letting you come out.  Very effective interviewer, I’ve always learned something unexpected but I don’t think this method will work outside a studio, too many distractions for that studied listening approach

My favorite, though I think impossible to even come close to, is Billy Connolly’s travelogs.  He’s done a few now, the “World Tour” of England Ireland and Wales, Route 66, the Northwest Passage. It’s usually peppered with some material from his standup comedy which can be a little colourful, but this serves as a wonderful camouflage.  The Big ‘Un is very comfortable talking about art and artists, and gives a very good opinion on both.  And the biggest secret of all – he’s not a comedian, but a very, very good raconteur.  That to me is the most attractive skill on any travelog.     The added plus is that he is a bit of a biker.  Or to be more accurate a triker – a sort of three wheeled bike.  Listen to what he says about riding in into Los Angeles:”  "I've got desert to my left, desert to the right, desert behind and in front. California! where there's so much space who can resist tuning in, tuning out, dropping in and dropping off. the land of wandering rockandrollers and wayfaring wastrels. the only thing missing is Van knocking up with the Doors".  My favorite though is the one about schizophrenia,

“Roses are read

Violets are blue

I’m schizophrenic

And so am I”